Not sure if these will help, I quickly just drew them up. Let me know if you run into any more trouble. :)
Tried to keep them the same colours, take out the bottom tray first (sorry my pic cut off), just stick your fingers in the bottom holes (:rolleyes:) and pull away from the engine and...
Sounds like the rear washer pipe has come apart in the boot, and as you've been spraying the water, it has got to the electrics.
You need to take the interior boot cover off and examine.
Your washer pipe can disconnect either (As far as I'm aware): Under the bonnet, in the right hand side...
Everyone thinks my 1.2 is nippy, the secret is to drive at 6k revs hahaha.
The only thing you should do is just keep it serviced regularly, and the panel filters as you say. Wouldn't bother making engine mods, because you'd be better off putting that money towards your next car. :)
You're both acting like male toddlers.
Why not just put some photo's up of the finished article mate? Put everyone's mind at rest, haha. I've done a quick photoshop, could look pretty good if you've gone low enough, aha.
If the engine cuts out exactly one second after starting, it sounds like it could be immobiliser related?
Sorry, I don't know any other helpful information... :/
Good luck
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